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  • Writer's pictureAnthony Chase

Rich Kraemer Birthday Poem: "The Legend of Rich"

By Justin Karcher

The Legend of Rich

Thank God for storytellers

lost in the rush

hopping from city to city

a Wi-Fi connection

in human form

always the last ones

to leave a party

drinking whatever beer

comes their way

the kind of laugh

that makes life


we live

for their crazy

late night adventures

hey Rich

tell us more stories

like that bachelor party

in Vegas

the supermodels


in a fishbowl

you didn’t tell them

about your house

that needs to be


or that home

is a rusty place

in the North Pole

like that night

you and Michelle Kwan

fell in love

hand in hand

skating through

a big hotel

at 5 AM

she looked

like a swan

her grace

went straight

to your head

but it was

so much better

than being dead

then that summer

when you were living

in the heart

of an ex-Rockette

she was in grad school

studying a lot

you toured the Midwest


helping out

desperate dancers


who need life

to be slightly better

that time

you were a dog

a Roman soldier

when you said no

to our sister

when you waited

in the cold with us

to meet Liev Schreiber

all you can eat brunch

in the middle

of New York City

an island

surrounded by

the strongest


always dizzy

when you can’t

sleep no more

when feet don’t

touch the floor

remember that time

you brought cornbread

to our holiday party

it was from

Boston Market

you waited in line

arrived late

we all were

already drunk

probably crying

for the dearly departed

too much cornbread

so someone

hid chunks

all over the house

in drawers

in the medicine cabinet


for the mouse

still surprised

all this

really happened


when I was zombie

when I got kicked

out of the Irish lobby

too many drinks

when your eyes

give up on blinks

you picked me up

threw me in a cab

took out

my license

handed it to

the driver

told him

go there


I haven’t lived

in years

rode with me

in the back

all I did

was laugh

but you

got me there

hey Rich

keep telling

your stories

keep being you

joyful breadcrumbs

you scatter

proof that friendship

is the one thing

that truly matters

Poet Justin Karcher reads "The Legend of Rich" to the birthday celebrants at Matinee


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